End of Year Class Parties - a Conundrum

It is the end of the school year here and many of us are entering a time of deep exhaustion. Between recitals and end-of-year parties and K/5/8/12 graduations and awards ceremonies and teacher gifts and (fill-in-the-blank), my calendar looks like an engineering schematic. When you have school-aged children and follow a traditional school calendar of some sort, January is meaningless as the beginning of a "new year". It is August when the new year begins. It is June when the year ends. July is overheated month of desperate vacations and summer "plans" that provide fodder for August conversations. As a teacher, this has been my annual rhythm every year since I was 5, and at my now advanced age seems natural.

What doesn't seem natural AT ALL is the new "normal" of the end-of-year class party. I offer Exhibit A:

The teacher gift for my child's kindergarten teacher

Above is the teacher gift I put together for my child's kindergarten teacher, ripped from the ideas posted on Pinterest and modified for my own lack of craftability. Please do not misunderstand. No one forced me to do this! In fact, I volunteered to create the class gift presentation. I also believe teachers deserve gifts and praise and money (although as a high school teacher I seldom found any money-wrapped crayons coming my way - lol). But why does my generation feel the pressure to do these things on such an extravagant scale? Wouldn't we honor teachers more by spending that time and energy petitioning for REAL pay increases or volunteering to do lunch duty through the year so she or he can actually eat a meal or organizing a classroom "slush fund" so he or she doesn't have to spend the pitiful amount of money received buying things that the school SHOULD provide but it underbudgeted to offer (because, FYI, that money was earmarked by our legislature for technology or test prep or whatever trend du jour is making the rounds - don't even get me started)? I don't begrudge teachers the chance to have a well-deserved cash bonus from the parents, but think there are better (or perhaps just additional) ways to offer support.

And why are parents at the class parties? We stand around awkwardly, watching our children make one last craft and taking pictures like a crazy person, and I feel like 80% of us are wondering WHY we had to take a morning off work/gym/housecleaning/etc to come and watch our child at a party at school. I will happily send in the snacks. I will happily provide craft materials. But I strongly feel like the LAST thing my child needs is me there staring at her/him while she/he plays freeze dance. I am happy my child GETS to do these things. I just don't think the enjoyment is multiplied at all by my mad observation skills. And while I think that communities need to become MORE engaged and PRESENT in the schools, waiting until the end of the year or running into school for a 20 minute snack/craft/music sprint seems like a largely superficial form of "involvement". Current laws and policies prevent easy involvement in the class on other days. The standardized curriculum leaves little to no time for an hour or more a week where a parent could come and read to the class or lead a craft while the teacher answers emails and breathes deeply. We are barely allowed to know the names of the children in the class, much less become a community, due to FERPA and security policies and all of the things that are done to PROTECT our children. I vote we let parents stay home from the parties and instead we have a class photographer who can share these precious images with us. And I also vote we lower the bar for these parties about one million degrees. It is a kid party in an elementary school. Time for a reality check (and I say this as one of the people who decided the kids should really make snowmen out of marshmallows and icing for the snack in the winter party).

Is it summer yet? :)